I love smashing glass. It’s the most satisfying thing in the world. Have you ever had the pleasure of watching a perfectly normal piece of glass break into countless pieces? It’s simply mesmerizing. In one moment, it’s perfectly whole, safe and pure. In the next, it’s nothing but sharp and dangerous chunks. People feel so comfortable around glass when it’s in that perfect form, but they’re afraid of broken glass. It represents their world shattering around them. Either that, or they’re just worried about getting cut, because trust me, it really hurts.
I spend my weekends destroying glass of all kinds. Glass plates, glass doors, even a glass balustrade or two. Apparently there are a couple of detectives that are hunting me down. They call me the Glass Smashing Bandit. I think that’s pretty cool. It is all just for a bit of fun, though. No need to get so serious.
That’s not entirely true, is it? This is serious. Not just for the detectives, or the people who’s windows I’m breaking, but for me as well. I do have stakes in this game. Ask yourself this: who profits out of broken glass the most? Your first instinct might be glazier businesses from Melbourne, but that would be incorrect. The true answer is one that shouldn’t surprise you. When you hear about a string of smashed glass cases, a serial smasher, if you will, where do you turn to?
These last six months, news stations have doubled their coverage of smashed glass-related stories, and it’s all thanks to me.
My news station has thrived off of the fear. More people tune in than ever. Of course, I would never tell you which one it is. Any news program you watch could be manipulating you. I can guarantee that they are. Television is a scary business, kid. If you want my honest opinion, I’ll give it to you. I wouldn’t trust any of them. But the choice is yours.
Glass Smashing Bandit, out.