Take My Free House, Someone

section 32 statementI like to think that I’m financially secure. Doesn’t everyone? I know I’ve been blessed with a great amount of…blessings, and I’d like to give some back to the community. Thing is, no one seems to want any of it. No, really: I’ve been standing on street corners and asking folks if they’d like a free house. Most people walk on by, a few glare at me like I’m threatening to burn down their home and a few make jokes. Like SURE I’m giving away a house. No one yet has stopped and just said “actually, that sounds great. I’ll take two, in fact. My Mum could really use a holiday home.”

I’d give it to them, you know. I have houses coming out of my ears at this point- maybe I invested too well?- but no one wants to take me up on the offer. I have the title transfers! Official documents that say I’m the owner of all these places! Anyone can just come up to me and say that they’d like those titles transferred into their name, and it’s theirs.

I’m starting to think that people aren’t taking me seriously. Maybe it’s because I’m very rich. People who don’t have money can be very distrustful of people who have lots of money; I read it in some psychology study journal somewhere. Yeah, the houses probably aren’t helping either. I need to let people know I’m one of them, so they trust me enough to let me give them stuff.

Of course! People are taught from a young age not to accept gifts from strangers. Not sure why, but I suppose that’s exactly what I’m doing. If only they knew. Alright, I need to get some property conveyancers on the job, pronto. Those people wear suits and handle official documents; the perfect thing to make me seem legit. I’ll set up a desk on that street corner, maybe. Show people my documents, tell them my knowledge of the section 32 statement and how it governs the sale of land and property. Then they’ll see that I’m just trying to give a little bit back. Which I definitely am.

-Paris