Having outgrown my teenage years, I’m less convinced now that I’m good at literally everything. And while that’s a massive relief, seriously, it’s still probably time to find my niche. Everyone has their thing, right? It’s the thing you do on a Wednesday night, the thing you look forward to that stops all the crushing loneliness and family problems from getting to you. I have to get started pretty soon, though, since any longer and people will start calling it a mid-life crisis!
But seriously. Katie is into hoola-hooping, and she’s too good at it for me to ever catch up. Jesse likes that new craze, dance fitness? I have too much dignity. Don’t even get me started on Mabel…swing dancing, really? She thinks she’s the reincarnation of actress Audrey Hepburn, seriously. No, I need my OWN thing, so I can gossip about it with the girls and they’ll be all impressed. Is it too late to learn how to ice skate? I just read this fabulous biography about this handsome Yugoslavian ice skater. It’s filled my head with ideas, and besides, it’s not like anyone’s ever DIED from ice skating, right? If that were the case, I’d bring my husband along and hope for a miracle! HAHA!
But seriously, ice skating lessons, it could happen. I did ballet up until I was twelve, and Miss Russian said I could’ve gone on to a championship level if I didn’t start crying every time she bent my leg back at a 40 degree angle. And even then, most girls never even made it past 70! Ice skating is basically ballet, but the floor keeps slipping away from you. So it’s ballet, but with extra flair and substance, and less of the leg bending because I still wake up screaming from memories of those lessons, and the husband says I’ll wake the baby, I tell him I never even wanted a baby and it’s all a hilarious palava, TE-HE!
I’m fine. Now, I just need to find a Melbourne ice skating instructor as good looking as that fellow from the book, and I’ll be ready to have an affair and elope! I mean, learn to skate with grace and poise! Just a little joke.
-Janet