Mum always taught me to look on the bright side; in fact, it was one of her strongest philosophies. She almost never actually got angry, instead just calmly pointing out what I did wrong and then stating why it was a good thing. Usually that amounted to me learning a valuable lesson, which I often did. Thanks, Mum! I’ll keep that in mind as I destroy the world. Accidentally, mind you, but I think I might have made a planetoid-sized mistake. See, I’ve really been enjoying my app design course based in Melbourne, since it appeals to my sense of creativity but there’s a whole lot of solid technical stuff to go with it. My first attempt at a megahit was an app that took a picture of everything in your fridge and automatically suggested smoothie recipes. It was an ambitious app and my course co-ordinator gave me the green light.
It got over 1000 downloads, but a lot of people left negative reviews after their cream cheese and expired diced beef chunk smoothie didn’t turn out to be the healthy snack they were expecting. Personally I’m leaning towards that being their fault and not so much mine. The app design course was such a fantastic match for me, I was making it big already.
I decided to forge my app design carer in another direction. That direction was a playful prank app called ‘CrashMe’, which would send a timed signal to your phone and tell it to crash at a certain time, or with triggers. So you could program your phone to crash when it goes to a site you get distracted by, or when someone does something with your phone. So it’s anti-theft and pro-productivity!
Except it also somehow crashes other stuff. I ran a test, and my phone somehow managed to crash the network, worldwide. And this has maybe, sort of caused a chain reaction. You download this app, everything on your phone crashes. Send a text to someone, their phone crashes. Send an email, their computer crashes. So yeah, my app development course is totally fun you guys! You’ll probably never read this, though, because I think I may have caused a chain reaction that will destroy technology forever. I’m so getting failed for this.