Hi, I’m Jack Zebraman and I’ll be starring on Australia’s Next Top Office season two! This is my online profile, posted to a completely random page of the internet, with the owner’s permission, of course. Think of it like a guest post. Thanks to Mr Mrs for giving me space on this website to post all about myself.
So, as I said, I’m Jack Zebraman. Obviously you’ve heard of me because I’m very famous. You would probably remember me best from the 90s-hit crime show Black and White, where I played the protagonist, solving crimes throughout the city of Melbourne. To this day I still get recognised on the street. How crazy is that? Please, everybody, settle down, I don’t need all this attention.
Having said that, if you see me on the street you should definitely come and tell me your favourite episode of the show and ask for an autograph. What’s that? My publicist is telling me that I’m supposed to be talking about Next Top Office. I guess I can do that.
I’m starring in this season because I simply love three things: hanging out in an office space, interior design, Melbourne and being on television. Oh, I guess that’s four things, but it doesn’t matter. You’ll forgive me, right? Trust me, I’m a good person… zebra… thing.
Why do I think that I deserve to win the competition? That’s a great question. Why do I deserve to win? Well, why don’t I? In case you haven’t noticed I’m pretty great, and I’ve already proven that I don’t let fame go to my head. But most importantly, because I know great Melbourne office fitouts. I think that’s reason enough to give me the trophy.
Oh, we’re not competing for a trophy? This is just for fun? What do you mean all the proceeds go to charity? I didn’t sign up for this! Jessica, come back here! How is this supposed to get me back on the map after years of being washed-up? And what do you mean, washed-up? I’m as relevant as ever. Hold on, why am I typing all this into the computer instead of saying it to you? Hopefully, I remember to delete it before sending this to Not Flicks for a proofread.